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God Made Me Cry This Morning.

24 Mar 2010 by sypace

Today has the potential to be the hardest day of my life. Today I am having to confront a very difficult situation and I do not want to have anything to do with it. It is painful. It is scary and has had way too much impact in my life for a long time. But today is the day to face the beast instead of running and hiding. I’m committed, but have been anxious about whether I am doing the right thing and for the right reasons. My answer came this morning in my quiet time and God blessed me to my very core.

This morning as Barry and I were reading through the word I was re-reading the story of David and Goliath (I will share in a later blog post why this scripture, this morning. *smile*). After reading that I wanted to go read the 23rd Psalm (another blog post. . .) As I finished the 23rd Psalm I just kept reading and there in Psalm 25 I found verses 4 and 5: “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” These words alone were enough to make me realize that God is my Savior and that as I take action today it is a process by which He is teaching me to better follow Him. The added benefit is that as this day goes along He goes with me; and if I have moments of anxiety and a desire not to proceed He is going to guide my path. I have hope in Him “all day long.” God didn’t just leave it at that though. I had decided to pray through and journal this scripture this morning. But felt that I still wanted to do my short devo book reading too. Hello, God speaking through Charles Swindoll this morning. Can I get an AMEN! Here’s what I read in his book, “Five Meaningful Minutes a Day”:

Job did not say, “When He has tried me, I will make a million!” Or, “When He has tried me, I’ll get everything back that I lost.” Or, “When he has tried me, my wife will say she’s sorry and will make things right.” No, it’s not the externals that are promised, it’s the internals. The Lord promised Job, “When the process is finished, you’ll come forth as gold. Then, you’ll be ready to serve me where I choose.”

So, after reading this I stopped. I thought long and hard about this. Man, Job had it rough, but God was there the whole time. Not only that, but after all the yucky stuff, Job was ready to serve and be used. I decided I liked the sound of that. Then I went on to read the scripture that went with the devotion. And I was blown away.

“He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” Job 23:10

I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me.” Jeremiah 32:40

“For He is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under His care. . .” Psalm 95:7

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

The bottom line for me is that 1: God adores all of us, yes, even me. He is our shepherd and he watches over us, disciplining where needed, guiding where necessary and loving us always. 2: Life is hard and painful and sometimes scary, but He is there. Always. Nothing is going to happen to us that He cannot use to shape us into the people that He wants us to be, so that we can serve Him best. 3: Our external circumstances are but that: circumstances. Our internal Spiritual DNA is what truly matters.

So, I sat in my living room this morning with tears rolling down my cheeks. Tears of joy, because I know that God has asked me to undertake a very difficult task today that is intended for His glory. It is for my refinement and my healing. I cannot do this alone. It is too scary; but not so with God as my Shepherd. As you read this, please pray for me. Pray that as Satan tries to distract me from these truths today that he will be unsuccessful and that my “hope” will be in my Savior “all day long.” Blessings my friends. Blessings.

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Are You Ready for Some Joy?

09 Mar 2010 by sypace

Birthday Party!

Joy. What a sweet word.  So short, and yet, full of impact.  I got to experience pure and unadulterated joy this weekend.  It was our Mia’s Eighth birthday.  She wanted to have some friends go ice skating with her.  She had never been, but ever since the Olympics, that is what she plays constantly at our house.  She wears slick socks and fancy costumes and choreographs elaborate routines to “skate” around our kitchen and family room.  So, to get to go ice skating for real was her hearts desire for her birthday.  Now you know me. You know that things that are foreign to me make me anxious.  You know that when I am in a situation that is beyond the parameters of my control my palms sweat, my heart pounds and I really just want to throw up.  Yep, it’s that bad.  So you can imagine how things were going as we arrived with 4 girls ranging from 7 – 10 years old and then two 3 year olds to go skating.  It was not pretty to say the least.  I had not planned on skating.  My plan was to sit back and supervise.  But then I quickly realized that my husband just cannot ice skate.  Watching him weeble and wobble a couple of feet and hearing him tell Selah(our 3 year old) that Daddy really just couldn’t help her, gave me hives.  I could just see split skulls, broken arms and bloody lips.  So of course I had to march myself back down to the ticket window and rent myself some bee-you-tee-full hockey skates.  I got back up to the rink and proceeded to step out on the ice to try and keep chaos at bay.  Luckily, my sister was there to help the kids too.  We quickly realized that there were too few of us, who could actually stand up to be able to help our, shall we say, less graceful family members.  Luckily those smart people running the place provide these little red ice skating walkers that can be rented for an extra $5 and my Mom and Dad procured some of these broken-bone saving devices.  Those who needed the extra help got the extra help.  Those who wanted to try it on their own did.  And in the process of being on that rink in the gorgeous weather, (so hot we stripped off our coats and just wore our shirts) watching those girls skate and fall, get up and go again, making friends with those around them and the whole time laughing their fool heads off, I let go.  I let my big girl skate as fast as she could go and wipe out with a thud that made my Mama’s heart shudder.  I let my husband just be himself having fun with those kids.  I let my baby girl talk me into holding onto her and the walker and push her around that rink so fast our hair was blowing in the wind and she was yelling “Go faster, Mama, go faster” in between bursts of gut-wrenching giggles!  At the end of the session I even let that little bundle of joy take off on her own while I stood back and held her Daddy’s hand and we made fools of ourselves skating together. And along the way I felt joy rising inside of me and spilling out of my mouth.  It caught me off guard.  Finding that joy there on the ice was exhilarating and liberating and scary.

Joy is a word, that for me, usually conjures up a sense of sadness and loss.  I know that is the antithesis of the meaning of joy and yet, for me the connotations of the word are not so joyful most of the time.  I, like so many of you, am weathering some stormy times right now.   I’ve been taking some time to dig deep; ask myself difficult questions and pray for God’s answers to come.  God’s been after me for a while to just give it all up to Him.  I saw this weekend that He can give me a joy that is totally foreign to me if I will just let Him. My bible says this: “He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” I found this verse in Job of all places. Job, who had every right to be angry, sad, defeated, you name it and he had the source for all those negative emotions and yet in Job 8:21 the Word tells us in no uncertain terms that God will give us joy.  We all go through times of trial and struggle but I am clinging to the above verse and holding onto Psalm 30:5 “. . . weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” It’s time for me to let God give me some joy in my life.  I have robbed Him of that by “controlling” my life.  I’m ready for some joy.  Are you?

Heading out all by herself!

Going all by herself!!

Letting her go!

Letting Her Go!

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Be Anxious About Nothing.

28 Jun 2008 by sypace

As you could probably see from yesterday’s post I was pretty anxious about getting on a plane that was originally delayed due to mechanical problems.  I think that for many people anxiety about present or future circumstances is very common.  I know that for me, when I feel like I am not in control, it makes me unbelievably uptight.  My anxiety, unfortunately, manifests itself in many forms.  I can be short-tempered, sometimes I can be overbearing due to trying to get control of the situation, and sometimes I just try to tell everyone around me where to go and what to do so that we can get moving.  A friend of mine once told me that I could stop trying to be the CEO of the Universe, that God really did have that under control. 

Do you find yourself anxious in situations that you feel like are out of your control?  As we sat on the plane two days ago and I was clutching Barry’s hand tightly and trying not to throw up, all I could think of was the verse Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  As you can probably guess I was praying pretty hard at this moment.  I was out of my element, scared that we were going to crash and afraid I might throw up in the process.  I had an incredibly difficult time following the premise of this verse about being anxious about nothing.  But as the flight continued and then we got on the next plane I began to revel in the fact that I didn’t need to be scared because God, in His greatness, was in control and it didn’t matter how much I worried.  My worry wouldn’t keep the plane in the air and that we were kept safe by the will of God. 

As we flew out of Atlanta, and then over the Mississippi river I was awe-struck at the magnitude of his creation.  I began to see the beauty of the earth and the sky, with all the clouds around us.  As we got ready to land in San Antonio the sunset was incredible.  I ended my flight by just being so humbled at the magnificence that God had allowed me to see from the window of our plane.  What a wonderful and exceptionally blessed event to have experienced. 

I decided to find the verse in Philippians and as I read the verse I found also how true God’s word is when I read the next verse:  Philippians 4:7 “and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts, and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  As I read this verse it became very clear to me that as I prayed on the plane God granted me His peace.  It was not my peace.  I never had control of the situation, but when I finally decided to rely on Him and know that He alone could keep us safe from harm I was able to experience His peace and not only that to be truly blessed in the experience.

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