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A Cheerful Heart.

12 Jan 2010 by sypace

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22. I have a confession to make.  I am not generally a cheerful person.  My husband is one of the most positive people I have ever met.  When anything happens in our lives that is, (in my opinion) less than wonderful, my approach is generally to see all the negatives of the situation.  Barry, on the other hand, sees those situations as opportunities for something better.  In the past it has made me so mad.  Invariably he will tell me that I have a choice whether to be unhappy about something or not and my very immature and ego-centric response has been to tell him in no uncertain terms that happiness in not a choice and for him to keep his chipper little attitude to himself; makes me cringe just to confess those words to you.  God has really been working on me about making some changes in my life as this new year begins.  There is something that He is asking me to do with my family that is extremely difficult.  (I intend to post the two verses sometime this week.)  But I have realized over the last two days that It is impossible to do what He is asking if I first do not embrace Proverbs 17:22.

Knowing that I cannot do what He desires without having a complete and total change of heart is daunting.  For so many years I have lived with my emotions and heart directing me to view life a certain way.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is telling me that it is time to change that viewpoint and that a “cheerful heart” is a choice.  I know that living life as a pessimist is no longer an option.  I also know that it is not possible for me to become an optimist on my own.  So pray for me.  I’m going to need it.

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My Heart is Breaking.

17 Sep 2008 by sypace

I’m sitting here listening to Mercyme singing “God with Us,” and all I can do is feel so much sorrow that God has not been at the center of my life for the past two months.  I have been so caught up is self and personal desires that I have been unable to focus on THE ONE who is always with us.  I have been constantly reminded in the last few weeks that we all choose how close we allow God to be in our lives.  He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.  He never holds Himself away from us, denying us the comfort and care that we need.  Today I was reading and came across the following scripture: Phillipians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” What hit me about this verse is that God does supply all that we need, just not all that we want.  There is a huge difference.

I have been struggling the last two months with being content to live where we live, be a stay-at-home mom, and not be able to afford to do all the things that I want to be able to do.  I had a goal to go to seminary and to adopt a child from China; I want my girls to have a Christian education.  Right now I feel that God is telling me to wait, be patient and He will supply all that I need.  So, for the time being I am going to sit quietly and wait to see what it is that God wants from me.  I am post-poning Seminary and Barry and I have not pushed forward with the adoption plans.  I don’t know what God has in store for us yet, but I do know this, it is time to stop feeling depressed because we are where we are at this time and I am who I am, because God created and worked all of the plan for our lives and I have to find joy and blessings in that.

It’s time to not just speak the truth but live the truth and be content with all that God has blessed me with.

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