With a Heavy Heart. . .
This morning I really feel the need to share something that is weighing heavy on my heart. With all the news coverage coming out of Haiti and the economic situation in this country, coupled with a friend who is now having to make a huge transition into single motherhood, I wanted to share with you what I think is the most important thing in this world. Sometimes we get caught up in the everyday living and become so ego-centric that we miss the really important things because we are so caught up in self and so short-sighted. My day yesterday showed me that in a powerful way.
If you have been reading my blog at all you know that I have been a stay-at-home Mom for a few years now. I love my job. But, every so often I start to miss the adult connections found in a work place. All four of our little family unit spends the majority of every day in the same house. Most days I love that. Some days . . . I feel like I am going to pull all my hair out. That being said, I have a friend who runs a tax office and she always hires temp workers for the season and Barry and I decided to see if I could join her staff this season. We could definitely use the money, I could get out of the house and we found suitable and affordable childcare for my girls for the part-time hours I would need to be away. All these things seemed so important as we were making that choice. I had no idea how working one day would really impact my heart.
Yesterday was my first day on the job. I was not used to being away from my kiddos and I worked a really long day! I didn’t get home until late yesterday evening and Barry and the kids had waited on me to eat dinner. I had put some soup in the crock-pot before I left for work so we could all just sit together and eat when I got in. I sank wearily onto the seat at our table and just took in the sight of my girls and their precious faces. My Mia is a quality time girl. She was ready to talk about all the things she had done that I had missed that day. It was enough for her that I was able to sit and just listen to her. My sweet Selah is a physical touch, love-bug. So the whole time we ate dinner and Mia talked, Selah kept scooting closer until her little bottom was resting on my lap and her back was firmly pressed up against me. Every once in a while she would look up and kiss me and say, “I love you, Mama.” I wish I could convey the sweetness of that moment, but words just don’t suffice.
I was bone-weary from a schedule I wasn’t accustomed to. In the past, I might have let myself dwell on needing to rest, and that Mia could not quit talking, and Selah was all up in my space. But that wasn’t what I felt last night and thankfully that attitude has become less and less over the years. As I sat there I thought about how fortunate I was to have that time with my girls. I kept thinking about all those women who have to work; those women who don’t have a choice, especially all the single moms who have to do it all. My heart was breaking for them and I felt so much respect for the job that they do every day with their families. I felt so undeserving. I felt so blessed and so unworthy. And as I sat there with that precious voice of one daughter swelling in my ear and the warmth of my other daughter resting in my lap, I thought not just about all the working Moms who have to mother their children through their weariness, but also about all the families in Haiti who will never again have an opportunity to hear or hold their children or children who will never hear or be held by Mom or Dad. My heart is so heavy for those families.
My experience working yesterday and thinking about Haiti made me see that no matter what the circumstances and the future holds for me, I have a precious opportunity in every minute God allows me to have with my family. I know that I may need to work or that may not be His plan. I have no idea what my life’s path is going to take. I don’t have to know and I don’t have to worry about it. His word tells me in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, plans to give you hope and a future.” I am so thankful that I have a Guide who will direct me, provide blessings and sustain me when things are hard. Watching my friend go through this last year, seeing all the destruction in Haiti and especially all the orphans and their plight has really brought home to me the importance of knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior. I pray that if you don’t have the assurance of that relationship, you will seek Him out. Having a relationship with the Savior, studying His word and living life for Him makes life so much sweeter and makes the impossible, possible. The following video is a powerful reminder of who He really is, even in the midst of weariness, chaos and destruction. Do you know him?
My heart so longs for you to know Him.
Recent Comments