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God Made Me Cry This Morning.

24 Mar 2010 by sypace

Today has the potential to be the hardest day of my life. Today I am having to confront a very difficult situation and I do not want to have anything to do with it. It is painful. It is scary and has had way too much impact in my life for a long time. But today is the day to face the beast instead of running and hiding. I’m committed, but have been anxious about whether I am doing the right thing and for the right reasons. My answer came this morning in my quiet time and God blessed me to my very core.

This morning as Barry and I were reading through the word I was re-reading the story of David and Goliath (I will share in a later blog post why this scripture, this morning. *smile*). After reading that I wanted to go read the 23rd Psalm (another blog post. . .) As I finished the 23rd Psalm I just kept reading and there in Psalm 25 I found verses 4 and 5: “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” These words alone were enough to make me realize that God is my Savior and that as I take action today it is a process by which He is teaching me to better follow Him. The added benefit is that as this day goes along He goes with me; and if I have moments of anxiety and a desire not to proceed He is going to guide my path. I have hope in Him “all day long.” God didn’t just leave it at that though. I had decided to pray through and journal this scripture this morning. But felt that I still wanted to do my short devo book reading too. Hello, God speaking through Charles Swindoll this morning. Can I get an AMEN! Here’s what I read in his book, “Five Meaningful Minutes a Day”:

Job did not say, “When He has tried me, I will make a million!” Or, “When He has tried me, I’ll get everything back that I lost.” Or, “When he has tried me, my wife will say she’s sorry and will make things right.” No, it’s not the externals that are promised, it’s the internals. The Lord promised Job, “When the process is finished, you’ll come forth as gold. Then, you’ll be ready to serve me where I choose.”

So, after reading this I stopped. I thought long and hard about this. Man, Job had it rough, but God was there the whole time. Not only that, but after all the yucky stuff, Job was ready to serve and be used. I decided I liked the sound of that. Then I went on to read the scripture that went with the devotion. And I was blown away.

“He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” Job 23:10

I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me.” Jeremiah 32:40

“For He is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under His care. . .” Psalm 95:7

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

The bottom line for me is that 1: God adores all of us, yes, even me. He is our shepherd and he watches over us, disciplining where needed, guiding where necessary and loving us always. 2: Life is hard and painful and sometimes scary, but He is there. Always. Nothing is going to happen to us that He cannot use to shape us into the people that He wants us to be, so that we can serve Him best. 3: Our external circumstances are but that: circumstances. Our internal Spiritual DNA is what truly matters.

So, I sat in my living room this morning with tears rolling down my cheeks. Tears of joy, because I know that God has asked me to undertake a very difficult task today that is intended for His glory. It is for my refinement and my healing. I cannot do this alone. It is too scary; but not so with God as my Shepherd. As you read this, please pray for me. Pray that as Satan tries to distract me from these truths today that he will be unsuccessful and that my “hope” will be in my Savior “all day long.” Blessings my friends. Blessings.

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“Give Me Your Eyes.”

11 Feb 2010 by sypace

Today is my last day working at the tax office.  In a way it’s a big relief.  It’s been hard on my kids to get up and go stay with someone else during the day.  Getting up so early is not generally in our daily routine. Lol.  But we have survived and along the way my heart has been touched tremendously and I hope my attitude changed forever.  I just have to share my experience with you and hope that you are blessed.

All day long I sit and do data entry.  What that means is that for every person, couple or family group that comes in I put all their documentation into the tax program we use at the office to calculate the tax refunds that are eligible or what is owed to the IRS.  In the past when those papers would come rolling in I would groan and moan when someone would come in with several W2’s or Unemployment, 1099R’s, Social Security benefits because it meant more work for me.  All I wanted was a single, simple w2 that was neat and efficient and I could be done with their file quickly and move on to the next one.  I also have to admit when people would come in with several W2’s and unemployment my thoughts about them were not the kindest.  And heaven forbid if you only came in with unemployment.  Just could not fathom how anyone could not be more productive.  My heart aches at the sinfulness of those thoughts.

All those papers coming through my hands were/are people’s lives.  Lives that are messy and complicated and difficult.  Lives of single Moms trying to get by.  Lives of men struggling to provide for their families in a tough economy.  Lives of Grandmothers who have grown sons and daughter’s and their children who’ve lost their homes and are now living with Grandma while she works three jobs trying to help them all.  Lives of a  Mom and Dad who both have a W2 and unemployment slips, doing the best they can to hold on to the means to provide for their family.  These are the people who’s lives come through my hands with so much messy paperwork.  God loves them immensely.   God sees them and His heart aches for the trials that they are facing.  I saw that this time.  I felt that this time.   Initially, Brandon Heath’s song, “Give Me Your Eyes.” began to play over and over in my mind as I entered all the data into the computer.  This year, as those files have come into my hands and then on to the preparers hands my heart has ached and my voice has begun to lift them up to a God who sees their needs and loves them.

I am so thankful that God opened my eyes and allowed me the privilege of praying for His children these few weeks.  I am so blessed.  His words command us to “love one another.”  John 13: 34 – 35: 34“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  I so hope that in a small way I have loved these people who have come through the doors of the office and that I have honored Him in doing so.



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Generation to Generation.

18 Feb 2009 by sypace

Yesterday I had the priviledge of attending the meeting for stay-at-home Moms, Common Ground, at Grace Community Church.  We had a wonderful guest speaker who addressed how important it is for Moms to really treasure the times that we have with our children because they grow up quickly.  She also spoke to how wonderful Grandchildren are and she said she knew why they were called “Grand.”  The impact that families have on one another has been on my mind a lot lately, especially the impact we have on our children and they in turn have on their children and on and on…  I went to Psalms 78 and this is what I found:

 1 O my people, hear my teaching; 
       listen to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in parables, 
       I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

 3 what we have heard and known, 
       what our fathers have told us.

 4 We will not hide them from their children; 
       we will tell the next generation 
       the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, 
       his power, and the wonders he has done.

 5 He decreed statutes for Jacob 
       and established the law in Israel, 
       which he commanded our forefathers 
       to teach their children,

 6 so the next generation would know them, 
       even the children yet to be born, 
       and they in turn would tell their children.

 7 Then they would put their trust in God 
       and would not forget his deeds 
       but would keep his commands.

 8 They would not be like their forefathers— 
       a stubborn and rebellious generation, 
       whose hearts were not loyal to God, 
       whose spirits were not faithful to him.

As I read this I wondered, am I doing enough with my children that they will teach their children to love God?  AmI close enough in my own walk where it is evident that I love Him?  Is my heart loyal to God and my spirit faithful?   these are tough questions and ones that I know I will struggle with daily as long as I live.  

This passage also made me think of my own ancestors and in particular my Grandparents and I wrote this poem about them that I want to share.

Frank and Ruby

Rock solid, steadfast love
Fiery Woman.

Silent strength, determined soul
God-filled Mama.

Open arms, tender touch
Ever-present Nana.

Generous spirit, heart of gold
Great GRAND Mother.


Twinkling eye, mischievous grin
Dapper Man.

Serious demeanor, loving spirit
God’s path Daddy.

Gentle giant, limitless love
Stead-fast Paw Paw

Proud pal, giver of time
Great GRAND Father.

Bended knee, valiant honor
God’s House Keeper.


Lifelong  love, embracing souls
enduring Couple.

Solid ways, uncompromising walk
Hard-working Parents.

Giving time, generous heroes
Stupendous Grandparents.

Laughing hearts, smiling eyes
Awesome Great GRAND Parents.

Others first, God above all
Jesus Followers.

When I am old…… will my Grandkids see me this way?

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Hope for Things to Come.

09 Nov 2008 by sypace

This past weekend was a wake-up call for me.  I have not been where I should be in my walk with God.  It is a sad, but true fact that a situation in my life has become, as Beth Moore says, “a stronghold” for me.  There is a situation in my life that has consumed many hours of my thoughts, baffled my heart, hurt my feelings and often crushed my spirit.  I have let that situation cause me to be more focused on earthly problems and my own desire to “fix it,” that my focus on my Lord has fallen to the side.  Carol spoke on Saturday and she focused on a passage from Titus.  She chose to present Titus 3: 3 – 7 “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.  We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

These verses hit me right to the core.  The pull to sin and keep sinning is extremely powerful and strong for peopld.  Satan has so many tools at his disposal to tempt us with and we so easily become enslaved to those things.  We let that ache for a relationship with God be filled with earthly things rather that God.

Then last night as I came home and was smacked in the face (and heart) with this situation I did the only thing I knew how to do.  I talked to my God.  I told Him I couldn’t handle this alone, it just hurt too much.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone else about it, I just needed my Daddy.  I felt so much better just knowing that God was present with me and felt my pain too.  I got up and reached for my Bible, needing the comfort of His word.  Everywhere I turned last night what I read was the command to love and to endure.  God, in his infinite wisdom, showed me that right now all I can do is to love and to just keep on loving and not quit the race.

This morning as I got up, I decided it was time to do what I blogged about yesterday and start the transformation (again today).  The place I needed to go was back to the Word.  I took my Bible and went downstairs and asked God where should I read today?  I heard Philemon.  In Philemon, Paul is writing a letter to Philemon concerning Onesimus.  Onesimus was Philemon’s slave who had run away, but had become a Christian under Paul’s teachings.  Paul is asking Philemon to accept Onesimus back as a brother in Christ.  The verses that hit me the hardest were 1:15 – 16 “Perhaps you could think of it this way:  Onesimus ran away for a little while so you could have him back forever.  His is no longer just a slave:  he is a beloved brother, especially to me.  Now he will mean much more to you, both as a slave and as a brother in the Lord.”  Now as strange as this may sound, these verses gave me so much joy this morning.  I thought about the situation I am dealing with and about my own life choices in the past and then I thought about how these verses are so true for all of us.  Don’t you think our Lord feels the pain of our lose when we walk away?  How often do we walk away (or run) from Him and His commands for our lives.  How often do we hurt His heart with our disobedience.  How often do we cause Him to shake His head with disappointment.  I know I do on a daily basis.  It is the nature of humankind to sin and it is so damaging.  What then must the joy be like for God, when we turn from our sin and say “You are worth it.  You are the love of my life and only you can fulfill my hearts desires.”  What must the rejoicing in Heaven be like when one of us turns from our sins and chooses to follow Him.  I got to the end of Philemon and the last verse states: “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.”  and my heart felt such peace.  God is in control.  He is an all-powerful God.  Only He can give us the grace that we so need as we continually turn from Him and then must re-turn to Him.

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